Elephants

I've never been on safari in Africa to see elephants. I don't even want to go. I've seen a few elephants in zoos in my live. They are big, gray, funny-looking, and they stink. The most notable fact about elephants is that they are big. Really big.

If you had an elephant in your living room you would know he was there. You wouldn't be able to see the door, windows, TV or much else. I have a big living room, but even in mine, the elephant's presence would be obvious and un-ignorable. And then there's the odor. Even a blind man would know something was wrong in the living room!

Savanas, zoos, and living rooms (at least hypothetically) can have elephants in them. But there is one other place an elephant can try to hide: in relationships.

The elephant in a relationship is the one issue that is obvious to both parties but is never hinted, mentioned, acknowledged, or discussed. The elephant stands there, blocking the view of other good parts of the relationship, stinking up the room, and generally being a nuisance, but nobody does anything to evict him.

Sometimes we're afraid of elephants. Maybe trying to push the guy out of the "room" would cause him to make a bigger stink. (Maybe he learned something from his skunk cousins?) Maybe we've just gotten so used to having him there we're not sure how life would look without him. We've learned so many "work-arounds" to deal with his presence we would hardly know how to behave if he left. (I mean, what if you could actually get from the kitchen to the bedroom without always crawling over the back of the sofa?)

The metaphor is maxed out here, so on to the point. In personal relationships, quit ignoring the elephants! Pray, wait for the right time, and then talk about them.

Don't just keep tiptoeing around a land-mine issue. Gently, prayerfully, talk. Open the subject, talk, love and work through it.

Getting a real elephant out of your house might take a little time. He probably came in as a small baby elephant and now he's grown into a many-ton smelly problem. You might have to remove doors or windows or walls or even the ceiling to get him out. (Maybe Someone from above could help?) But it would be worth it. Getting an elephant totally out of a relationship may take time too, but the time and effort would be worth it.

Just think, after the project is completed, you can see each other across the room again, not crawl over the back of the sofa, and not live with a clamp on your nose to keep out the smell.

What's your elephant's name? Don't be afraid of him. Name him. Name him to the other person in the relationship. Discuss him. Plan what has to be done for the final eviction. Then do it.

Here's to spacious, comfortable, warm, easy relationships...with fresh breezes blowing through them.